So I was working yesterday when a co-worker brought to my attention a lapse in consciousness when preparing some paperwork...and not just a little lapse, a big one. It was clear that I was communicating on a different frequency from everyone else. At first I was embarrassed...it was such an obvious gaffe but then I had to look closer...what did it mean?
I've been contemplating a job change for a while now...but in my previous year, it was better to stay rooted and bide my time. But now...I'm fully in my three year, an expansive cycle in which I'm having trouble making the old tried and true ways continue to work. The error I'd made...it was clearly due to my leaping forward mentally while still rooted in my old environment. That's how life often is...we don't even know we're playing catch up with our lives until the signs start showing in uneven, and in my case, humiliating ways.
Wanting a new job when many are getting laid off completely, that seems rather counter intuitive. But, I can't deny it...I really don't want to work here any longer...but that doesn't mean I don't want to work.
Right work/livelihood are terms often bandied about in times flush with prosperity...not in economies that are devolving. But we are called to make the best use of our energies in whatever time we find ourselves in and truthfully, I think I'd serve better as a writer, editor, and document specialist than as a full time low-level bureaucrat. Squaring that with the ability to make enough money to pay my bills...that's the rub...but it's not an impossibility...just a very large improbability with my current mind set. So...my first active acknowledgment of my three year (in numerology it is synonymous with the joy of living) would be to *change* *my* *mind*.
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