I lived four lives...

Well, that last post wasn't very spiritual (or unique...I think almost every woman on the planet has mother issues!) but perhaps it was cathartic. And I'm only airing my issues here because they've been an obstacle to my getting to where I want to be.

In that way, that last post was successful because it helped  me understand how my writing actually serves many masters:

1. One master is my therapist oversoul who wants to help me out by listening and occasionally critiquing my world view.  This master is often frustrated  by my lack of insight.
2. Another master is surreptitiously entrepreneurial. She wants me to make money off of my writing and doesn't care too much for the soul searching, unless it improves my ability to sell something. Of course, she vehemently denies that money is the end game because she considers it too crass.  That lack of self-esteem is a problem.
3. Yet another ruler is my pragmatic side.  It's the aspect of my personality that says just continue to produce and practice, keep writing, learn how to be a better craftsperson, organizer, and communicator.  She's the taskmaster.
4. The final  boss is my creative self...who simply derives a great amount of pleasure from the process of writing, from the work of imagining to the act of committing thoughts to a page or screen.  This master is typically the one that encourages me to write but gets short shrift when I shift into another mode.

With all these conflicting messages and roles rolling around in my brain, I find it very easy to get sidetracked and discouraged.  But perhaps now that I'm aware of these very diverse personalities, I'll be able to proceed with less confusion...at least that's the operating principle I'm going to try to work with!